Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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