Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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