do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
