i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I think a kid would responsible me up
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
