we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Walk of Shame today included voting.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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