i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
