So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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