yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
