i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
