I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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