At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
