thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
