she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
she looked like the before picture.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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