just come out here and I will go home with you...
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
