rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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