I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize