They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize