Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
