I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
He passed out mid-signature
So many bounce houses so little time
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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