I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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