Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
