Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
