operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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