I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
