:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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