they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
