so that wasnt chicken after all
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
