brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
