I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
