I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
