I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
