What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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