He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
