p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
