I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
