I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
