I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
