I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
