operation harelip BJ is a go
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm too high and old for this...
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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