hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
