It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
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