I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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