I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You ate ashes out of my bong
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
