she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
two words...techno handjob
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
