its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
