just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
