i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
