I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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