i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
