you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize