i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
