Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
