Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
