Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
