party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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