Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
