Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
This is the high leading the old right now
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
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