i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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