He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
