Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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