you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
